All in it together
It was a new year and with it comes a breath of fresh air, a new lease (leash) on life.
The sun is shining fiercely but it cannot dispel the cold. Still, it was beautiful, it was glorious, a time to start again, a time to start anew, aspire for better things, dream with eyes and hearts open.
Hope, exhausted with the passing of 365 days, is replenished. Indeed, the beginning of the year is the best time for man to gather up his strength, pick up his cross/the flowers/the pieces of his life, and start yet another amazing journey.
My husband and I – we are embarking on a journey of our own. This time, it will be to financial freedom. Transplanted to Canada by choice, we are ready to do this again, and this time, we will be taking our kids for the ride.
The road to financial freedom is a road we are familiar with, full of traps and opportunities and wonderful surprises. Sidelined by life, and by choice, we are now close to harbour and seeing, finally, the lamplighter’s light.
How to start
We knew what we wanted to do but not how to go about it. Personally, I did not know how to introduce the subject of finance to my kids; looking back on my life, I realized I had no prior experience.
When I was a child, my parents never discussed finances with me or my siblings. It was taboo, kept under the rug, brushed aside, a secret.
I did not know how much my dad made, or my mom. A new car will just appear, without dialogue on ever buying it. There were no discussions on the financial direction the family will take for the year, what purchases are permissible, or what requests would earn a gruff remark. My dad decided this all; and later when they immigrated to the U.S., my mom.
Children did not need to know. And that’s how I thought it should be.
Not that I minded, not that I cared (at that time). But now I am wondering if it would have made a difference, if I could have avoided the many financial pitfalls I fell into had I known “finance” earlier on.
My hubby’s family, on the other hand, had yearly discussions on finances presided over by their ceo-president-dad. He no longer remembers the particulars, but he remembers that the discussions always ended with a directive: “We have to tighten our belt”.
Not very much happy memories there for him as well.
So without much example-memory-life lesson to guide us, we started.
Easing children into finance
It was an early New Year morning and we just fed our kids breakfast. The teen (14) was still sleepy, the 4-year old was jumping about (of course). We said we had something to discuss with them, some sort of a state-of-the-family address. The teen was interested (skeptical, eyebrows raised, but interested), and the little one not so much.
We sat them down in the living room, turned off the TV, and started.
We told them our general vision for 2015, how this year would mark a milestone in our lives as Canadian immigrants. I told them I will challenge my law exams in the next 2 years and hubby would focus more on our emergency-preparedness business. We discussed with them (well, we spoke, they listened) how it would make better sense to buy property in the hot Vancouver market instead of renting.
We told them how much each of us were making and our net incomes. That we plan to spend some money for their lessons – piano, violin, rowing, volleyball for the teen, and martial arts or hockey for the little one, and maybe a new-er car.
I told my teen how I made a mistake in buying her a Visa gift card (I thought how excited she would be to slide the card and make purchases by herself); that she had no option to save the money if that’s what she wanted.
We told them this is the year to focus on each other, to spend more time together as a family. We told them that we intend to listen and be more present when they want to spend time with us.
Faced with blank stares, my husband and I looked at each other and laughed. Our children joined us in our laughter and we hugged each other and hugged some more.
It was a beginning.
As I was putting things away, my daughter tapped me on the shoulder and told me she wanted to save her money and if she can please exchange her visa card for cash.
We just think they do not understand. But they do. And with our guidance and patience, and through a spirit of openness – deciding things, even finances, as a family – I think they will understand and appreciate it (and us) a little bit more.