Going Around in Concentric Circles
When I first saw “the grid”, I thought they were mystic markings. I could not have been closer to the truth.
Robert Kiyosaki, in his book, Rich Dad, Poor Dad, talked about the 4 quadrants: E for Employee. S for the Self-employed. B for the Business Owner and I for the Investor.
Only thin lines separate the 4. But in reality, millions of dollars and a vast chasm divide them.
And boy, I am finding out what it takes of me to cross that chasm.
Waking the Dragon Within
I stand stationary within the sea of runners, the camera of my eyes running through the length of everyone fighting the battle of man versus himself. And I cannot help but be amazed – what is it that makes man want to go through this undertaking and fight this battle against gravity, against skyrocketing heart rates, against pain? There must be pain: the initial brittleness of the bone, the resistance of the heart and then the pumping of the sweat through the glands until it breaks out and the player is bathed with the prize of having won against his will. The most natural state, after all, is supine. Yes, there must be pain.
Deliverance too. Because otherwise, why would they do it? I am almost sure that there is an insight here.
What is it?
I look about: they seem normal to me – some old, some new, maybe single, maybe fathers, maybe mothers. Some children are on the grass, playing, cheering a parent or parents on. I see celebrities: Rovilson Fernandez, a Kenyan runner, there were sightings too of Karylle. But mostly there was humanity – converged in these acres of grass, in various poses as they flex their bones and mentally prepare for the run.
Take Time to Stop and Smell the Flowers
You can read the first part here.
She looked around her. People were walking alone, heads down, hurrying off to work, to school, to the employment agency, to Rue de Berne, telling themselves: “I can wait a little longer. I have a dream, but there’s no need to realize it today, besides, I need to earn some money.” She understood that it was all a question of selling her time, like everyone else. Doing things she didn’t want to do, like everyone else. Putting up with horrible people, like everyone else. Handing over her precious body and her precious soul in the name of a future that never arrived, like everyone else. Saying that she still didn’t have enough, like everyone else. Waiting just a little bit longer, like everyone else. Waiting so that she could earn just a little bit more, postponing the realization of her dreams.
Letting life pass her by.
To Fly Away
I look around, look within, look at memories – to the eyes of my father, my grandfather, my grandmother – those who have left us behind. Do they have regrets?
I know “someday”. I could have sworn that I have seen it in my father’s eyes.
Look Within, Dig Deep
She was young. I do not know the exact circumstance or her exact age at the time of her “consultation”, or why she even went, or how she looked or seemed, or what was it that made her voice out, in a question, her one dream: “Will I be able to travel outside of the country?” or what prompted the fortune teller to tell my mother that no, she would not go places. I only know that while my mother was telling me this story many, many years ago, there was still pain in her eyes, and anger, her chin jutting at that defiant angle. The barb – even when it probably was not meant as a barb – had hit home and she could still feel the sting. Even after all the time that had elapsed.
I was told I could not make it, too, but not by a fortune teller.
To Be Mother
It was an uneventful night, a school night and I came home from work all fired up after a rather exhilarating and interesting meeting. I took out my daughter’s reminder book (which I have not looked at for 2 days) and started asking her whether she has done this or that, to which she replied, yes, yes and yes. I decided to look for the sake of looking and found out that she has not done one assignment. I called her and told her that I would help her with it. She looked at me, all eight years old of her, mocking me with eyes that said, “Why?”
Why the sudden interest? Where have you been all this time?
After the Storm
After lashing out and wreaking havoc to the Philippines and leaving 246 people dead, Ketsana then demanded Vietnam to bear witness to its great power of destruction, leaving another 20 people dead. In another part of the world, an earthquake caused a tsunami to race to the Samoan shores, leaving, in this part of the world, 99 dead. Very recently, Australia bore witness to a red dust storm that turned it crimson for a few terrifying hours.
As if taking a cue, people are likewise greatly unsettled after being at the receiving end of repeated blows: first, the financial collapse of the world markets, and now, atmospheric convulsions of the epic and never-before-seen kind.
The unsettling thing is that this time, man knows he has brought it upon himself.
The Darkness That Lurks Within
Yes, unbeknownst to us, our outcomes are forever colored by those memories and those experiences. Most do not want to cross over to the other side, most tenaciously embrace their past. It is the familiar, it is what they know, it is what they learned to live with.
So they sabotage their lives, sometimes in small thrusts of the blade, and sometimes in the grandest of manners.