Category Archives: Life Stories

I Thought I Was Saving with Breastmilk

The Other Half

I had full faith in it.

Twice (or even thrice) a day, on a work day, my door would close and I would be enveloped in the womb of my office, in semi-darkness, lost in my thoughts or looking at the sky (which, surprisingly, is many shades of blue), my right hand in constant motion, pumping.  My efforts would be rewarded by the gurgle of a small stream of white froth.  I would smile and continue to muster all the love that I have so that it will nourish the froth, while my eyes, although mirroring the clouds in the distance, seek the slopes of my memory for my son’s face.

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Move Your Cheese

Be Uncomfortable

“When I enrolled in Maven Secrets, I did not know what I was getting into. I only thought I would learn about blogging, get to know the man behind all those amazing features in Our Awesome Planet and, yes, dabble a little bit in internet marketing. I did not know that it will lead to my re-examination of my life, that it will change my life, transfer me from the confines of my glass penthouse to vibrant, more exciting possibilities. Let this serve as a warning and a warm welcome to those who will follow this unbeaten path.”

The above was my testimony for MavenSecrets when I attended its pilot class more than a year ago.  But its echoes reverberate to the life I know today.

MavenSecrets is an internet marketing program.  But it was also a way out – because like what it did to Anton Diaz, its founder (and to my other classmates), it strengthened my desire to leave the rat race and go after things that I am passionate about – like family and doing the things I could not find the time to do, the more important things that give life its flesh and its color.

Through having multiple passive income streams.

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A Garage Sale, Some Realizations

Giving, Sharing

I will make an unusual statement: in some countries, it is easier to give.

First, a backgrounder.

In the US, we held some garage sales.  It is easy.  You just gather the things you do not use out of the closet (or the garage), put a price to it, set it up at your garage (or yard, for a yard sale) announce it over the internet or advertise in some local newspaper (for free), show up on the day with some loose change, preferably psyched up to deal with penny pinchers (who want your memorabilia for a song) and wait.  At the end of the day, you will have earned some cash, freed a part of your garage (or closet), and found homes for the stuff you would not miss anyway.

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Baby Economics

The Sweetest Thing

I always knew that I will be having 2 children.  But child number 2 took a long time in coming. Nine years in fact.

I do not know why we waited but economics figured prominently in our decision to postpone having a second child.  How much does a child cost? More than ten million pesos or some USD$266,698That figure is daunting.  Add to this the fact that our financial planner is saying that we have to have an obscene amount for the college funds of child number 1.  Consider too that Filipino children stay in the coop for much much longer (say, forever).  Thus, for a long while, child number 2 seemed a distant possibility.

But then, every time I looked at babies, I looked at them wistfully and felt the pang of wistful.

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Prelude to a Garage Sale

Snapshot of A Life

It is amazing how much people accumulate for half a lifetime.

Take us, for example.  We have moved from house to house no fewer than 5 times (once, overseas).  And there were things and possessions that already got left behind – pictures (of friends, old boyfriends – on second thought…), documents that were once deemed important (thesis), favorite clothes (where’s that bridesmaid’s gown? Or my Victoria Secret lingerie that were wedding presents?), favorite jewelry (mom used to have dangling earring made of rhinestones that I loved looking at but maybe it is fake – where did it go?) that sometimes it pains me to think of what had become of them.  And yet, looking at the cavernous heap that I have to sort through now, I am certain that I am left with a whole lot more than I can deal with (or want).

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East versus West: Alternative Medicine

Ancient and Mystic

Who will not look at other avenues for cure?

We did.  And he came heavily recommended.   One touch at the pulse, one look at the throat and the extended tongue, and he will know what is wrong with you.  At least that was what we were told.

He was Dr. Tan Ci Shou and he practiced traditional Chinese medicine.  A healer (there are many accounts from friends and strangers that make him sound larger than life).

I have no knowledge of traditional Chinese medicine.  Or what I think I know, I learned from some Chinese movie (or is it from a Korean tele-series?) and novels (Amy Tan?).  But it is fascinating and enchanting and carries more charm than the synthetic (non-natural and expensive) medicine of the west.

And okay, we were something short of desperate – as the pronouncement from our three doctors did not sound very promising.

So one Sunday afternoon, we meandered along the streets of Binondo to Fu Yong Mansion, Ongpin corner Teodora Alonso Street.  It was there that we found him, at a nondescript, decaying building, two fu dogs guarding the entrance.  We were excited to meet our alternative (also scared).

He was wearing white and sat at the corner of a box-shaped room, flanked by a female assistant and 5 other people.  We sat and waited for our turn (hand on the camera – I originally wanted to document the experience but did not because I got shy).  I imagined how this office must look like on a regular day (not on a Sunday at 4pm), when a line would snake out from the room, down the stairs and onto the hot, busy street, everyone sharing their stories (or not), while waiting for their 5 minutes with Dr. Tan.

Because really, that is all it takes.

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When Life Gives You Lemons

Why the Fishes Multiplied

For about two months now, hubby and I have been confronted with the question of our mortality – well, hubby’s mortality, to be exact.

It is not easy to imagine this. Hubby does not drink, does not smoke, is an athlete – he lifts weights, plays basketball, soccer, rowing, just ran a marathon.   Healthy and active would be words to describe him.

Or so we thought.

When the doctor pronounced that his heart was weak, it sounded like a bad joke.  But tests after test confirmed that something was wrong.  But why it is happening, no one can explain.

And why him?

We talked to his heart (asked it to heal, asked it for forgiveness, told it we loved it), prayed, went to a Chinese herbalist, followed the doctors’ advise to the letter (no strenuous activity, drink medicine, no-fat diet), I tried to be a really good, dutiful, obedient, loving wife (was it too late?), but hubby’s heart continued to deteriorate and weaken.

Until the ultimatum – he had to have a pacemaker implanted.

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Window of Opportunity and Other Random Thoughts on a Bus

On the Way

Forgive me, but I have not ridden the public in a long time.

I used to.  In fact, everyday.   I remember that I liked it. The streets were not too crowded, the weather not as hot, the traffic not as bad.  A younger world.  And I think, a better world.

I would collect my thoughts in those 2-hour long drives from my college to my house.  During the commute, I would have conversations in my head, the role of the antagonist alternating between my mother and my best friend. It is the time when I would get what I thought were my best ideas – for scripts which were a weekly requirement in my course, for my thesis, solutions to problems, awakenings.  I would plan too, the strategies of my life without meaning to.  It is true what others say – there is so much creativity and movement that can go on in one’s mind when one’s hands are not on the wheel (a fuel for the debate of whether to have a car or not to have a car).

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