Fireflies
Fireflies
To blog, or write, or sneak out so that when my little boy smiles at me I will not be tempted to drop my pen and carry him. Or be in darkness, as I am now, writing when everyone else is sleeping.
Sometimes it is worth it, sometimes it is not, and it all depends on where the balance of my life tilts.
Sometimes, most times, I bite off more than I can chew. And that works, sometimes, and fills me with fulfillment, sometimes.
Like this blog. Which is me in all sense of the word, and which has taken a life of its own, despite me.
But it is endless canoeing, paddling from shore to shore, and sometimes I do not get to reach my destination, and I am tortured by one thousand and one thoughts that I cannot put to paper, and one thousand and one journeys that I cannot even start.
Others do not know the truth and ask me how I do it like they are amazed at my one thousand and one personas.
I … just … do … it. And hope that I am doing right and the echoes of my voice will do some good to someone, and that if I stumble, it will not be too painful, that if I spread myself too thin, I will know and have the heart to stop and then the courage to start again.
And then I do not do it… And hope that in the process I will get more introspection, and make amends with those whom I relegated to the sidelines.
There is guilt, and there is liberation at the acknowledgment of that guilt.
But I have to go on.
Because I do it because of me, to remind me, to placate me, to ground me, to give flesh to my voice – a selfish act, really, that somehow steered me to a more selfless course.
And so it is hard. But a voice is telling me, it does not have to be.
Article by Issa. Photo by Madelene Uyehara. Copyright 2011.
Website: www.YouWantToBeRich.com
Email: issa@youwanttoberich.com
P.S. I am an affiliate of the next Money Summit happening in July 2011. You can learn more about it here. I am attending and I hope to see you there.
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