Category Archives: Random Thoughts

Winning the Lottery

November 18 12:54 am ,

The Sky is the Limit

The grand prize for the lottery soared to obscene heights and people again began to dream.

Of what it would be like to have money, lots of money, the future changed in a whim, through balls swimming in the air.

What would one do with it?

What one can do with it.

Of how it would change everything.  Their lives, their past, their present.

And so they purchase their tickets day after day after day, as if through it they are manifesting their faith in the great unknown.

A chance of 1 in 20,872,566,000 – a chance that they are too willing to take.  If statistics are to be believed, being struck by lighting (1 in 280,000) would appear to be easier.

Yet they take it.  After all, you will not win if you will not roll the dice (or buy the ticket).

If you win, what would you do?

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To be Understood, Not to Understand

November 10 10:22 pm ,

Side By Side

I used to be a sponge.

I mean, I used to be interested in anything and everything and would ask my questions, however silly they are.  I used to love to listen and would look with awe and wonder at the speaker, a sponge, taking in everything, what is being said, what is not being said, what I felt, what the speaker would want me to feel .

I used to be interested in stories and explanations and people.

But time intervened and with knowledge came… disinterest.

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Setting Up A Charity (But It Is Not What You Think)

October 27 11:23 pm ,

Shelter. Are You?

I always wanted to set up a charity.

When my father died in 2003, I wanted to set up a charity for him.  I could not explain the motivation.  I just needed something to remember him by, for his name to remain and stand for something great and good. I looked at the website of my university and found out that for USD$1,000 per semester, I can do that.  But it did not happen – it was probably because I did not have the support or the money I needed or I eventually talked myself out of it.  But I had the strong desire to really do something like that and I often talked about it to my husband.

It is ironic because this year, we were the charity.

Let me explain.

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Musings of a Working Mom

October 19 11:47 pm ,

Love Personified

I have been thinking.

As light rain drizzles the cityscape and the horizon is blanketed by grey darkness, I thought of home and of holding my baby, tightly, in my arms.

At once, I was embraced by melancholy.

Because there is a woman holding him right now, one that both of us hardly know.

And I was seized with a realization: I am the one with the college and post-college degrees yet she is the one who is holding the prize.

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Be Still (I Cannot)

September 21 12:54 pm ,

The Art of Being Still

I behooved my mind – be still. 

But my mind keeps wandering off – to where, I am not sure.  It just needs to meander about and hop from one idea – question – thought – decision – realization – to another.  I cannot stop it.  I cannot keep it still.  It has to ponder the blueness of the sky or the crispness of the winds (yeah right) or what I have to do next.  And before I know it, I am standing up, or jumping about, or talking on the phone, or tinkering with my computer keys, or ruffling the pages of the newspaper or a book – anything but still.  It will not be still.

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Chakra and Getting to Rich

August 25 11:57 pm ,

Whorls of Energy

The chakra.  I am intrigued and seduced by it and I think it is because it has its origins in ancient India, the island of mysticism and the Kamasutra.  And because harnessing its power can get you what you want – it can even get you very rich.

It is fascinating to imagine the chakra – as whorls of (colorful) energy from the base of the spine to the crown of the head (chakra, after all, means wheel or “turning”) – from the ovaries/prostate (Base or Root Chakra), the spinal cord (Sacral Chakra), the navel (Solar Plexus Chakra), the heart (Heart Chakra), the throat and neck area (Throat Chakra), the pineal gland (Brow or Third Eye Chakra) and the top of the head (Crown Chakra).

It first flirted with my consciousness when I read Dr. Tuesday Lobsang Rampa’s book, The Third Eye.  Now, he is an interesting man.  During his first life as a lama in Tibet , a hole was drilled into his forehead to enhance his third eye chakra and this allowed him “to see people as they are and not as they pretend to be”.

It was quite disturbing.

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Connect

August 13 2:35 pm ,

Looking Through

I am within a sea of people.  No one is looking at me.

And I am not looking at anyone.  Or at least that is what I would have done if I have not looked up and around and performed this exercise.

I have observed – in large crowds or even in intimate spaces, people do not look each other in the eye anymore.  It seems that everyone is absorbed in their own realities, in their own present and everyone else dissolves or is absorbed by the void.  Oblivious to everything. Are people just not interested anymore?  Are they too scared to share a moment, however fleeting, that they let themselves be wholly and completely consumed by their thoughts, or going to what they perceive is their goal (although at times, really trivial)?

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